Your girlfriend has a new pretty, hot, sexy, fine as f*ck coworker and she won’t stop bringing her up. You start to wonder “why TF is she talking about her again?” When you hear her mention her name, you feel your gears grinding. These gears need to be oiled man. You immediately want to change the subject or tune her out. It's getting annoying and irritating, isn't it?
You may be jealous but don't want to admit it (which is completely normal and we are going to help you out so it works out in your favor). The problem is this jealousy can build into resentment and anger if you don't rework your thinking and communicate as you need to.
What do I do?
First of all, lesbihonest, her new coworker is probably straight, married with kids, and not interested at all in your girlfriend.
Whenever she brings her up around you, repeat this internal mantra (in your head, not out loud): She aint shit. I am the shit.
“She ain’t shit. I am the shit”
Ok, maybe that’s not the best advice, and I’m sure there are better internal mantras to use.. but, look, bottom line is that your girlfriend has a great partner (YOU), soooo let’s get your confidence back up!
Think of it this way:
Although your girlfriend may be excited to work with a new person (who happens to be attractive) and could potentially flatter herself into thinking her coworker is into her, chances are she is not into her. Look man, work is hard. Having a work friend or hot coworker can make the day go by quicker. Usually it's nothing more than that. While this is true, communication is also important and you should try out a few strategies to slow this jealous train down.
Confident ways to handle it:
Ask questions about the new coworker. Plain and simple. Uncover facts that will help add context to her annoying work stories. The goal is to find out if this new chick is even gay or into girls at all. Ask things like: Oh, is she our age? Does she have kids? What are you working on with the new girl today at work? Is she married? Here’s a brain blast: ask if the new hottie at work is gay or not. That’ll squash it or make your life worse. Choose what information you want to hear and can react to calmly no matter the answer.
Be upfront and blunt. Tell your gf that this seems fishy and ask if she’s crushing on this new coworker or naw. You deserve to know!
Communicate your feelings without attacking hers. Let her know that this whole thing seems a lil weird and you are feeling jealous. Be like “I’m happy you have a cool work buddy to make you happy but honestly hearing about her all the time is kind of overwhelming for me. I think I’m jealous but it’s probably all in my head, RIGHT?”
Suggest limiting “work talk” to only 30 minutes after you get home from work or only at the dinner table etc. Put a limit on that shit if it's bothering you. If she keeps bringing it up outside of these limits, remind her again of your promise to each other.
Between me and you…
This could actually work in your favor. Maybe it’s worth just riding it out. Use the internal mantra that we agreed to never say out loud (“I am the shit, she is not”). Why? Because the long-term benefits of it just being a new work friend (and nothing more) can pay dividends for both of you. Think of it this way: people who have a best work friend are statistically proven to have a better quality of life at work and enjoy their jobs more. This could mean she'll be coming home from work to YOU in better moods and may even be more successful at her job because of the increased engagement. More success could mean more money and more money could mean better birthday presents for you!
We get it: Seeing your girlfriend/wife develop a new relationship with someone other than you can be hard to swallow. What's not normal is if you start getting angry at her for spending time with her new coworker when there's no real evidence of anything more than it just being work. This could be a sign that you are heading down the dark jealous path and a fight is bound to happen sooner or later. Take these tips and strategies into consideration and put a fork in the road now before your relationship is in the danger zone.
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